[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]President Donald J. Trump broke his silence on the scandal roiling Virginia Governor Ralph Northam (D) in the aftermath of a photo in Northam’s medical school yearbook showing a person in blackface standing with another dressed in a Ku Klux Klan robe.
“Damn, that is one cool move. I wish I had thought of that back at Wharton,” said Trump, who tweeted the following in support of Northam:
Trump said he could not remember whether or not he had posed for any offensive photos that were included in his yearbook at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, but he did assure reporters that his yearbook photo was, “without a doubt the most amazing photo ever printed since Gutenberg invented the wheel.”
Shortly after the scandal broke, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders released a copy of the Northam yearbook page that appeared to include a Photoshopped image of President Trump added in between the man in blackface and the person in the KKK robe.
Denying that the image had been doctored, Sanders told reporters, “President Trump was, in fact, present when this photo was taken and wants the American people to know where he stands on the issue of racism in America. In this instance, he stands squarely between people who wear blackface and people in the Ku Klux Klan. The president has repeatedly said there are good people on both sides, and this is a perfect example.”
When asked for comment, Wharton School Dean Geoffrey Garrett said, “We at the Wharton School believe the mere presence of Donald J. Trump in our yearbook is in of itself highly offensive, and we renew our continuous apology to the American people for issuing him a degree from our otherwise fine institution.”
Trump went on to note his relief that nobody had bothered to look up the photos of Supreme Court Justice Sean Kavanaugh’s yearbook at Yale Law School during his contentious nomination hearing last fall. “We’re talking stuff that they don’t even allow in Tijuana,” said Trump. “The Kavanaugh stuff makes my Russian prostitute pee tape look like an episode of Paw Patrol.”
Trump noted that should Northam ultimately resign as Governor of Virginia, he would be welcomed into Trump’s cabinet with open arms (as well as with a Nazi salute.)
NOTE: THIS IS SATIRE, WHICH MEANS IT IS HUMOROUSLY NOT TRUE BY DESIGN, SO CHILL OUT.