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NOTE: THIS POST IS SATIRICAL IN NATURE. THE INTENT IS TO SHOW THE FAILURE OF LOCAL LEGISLATORS TO PRIORITIZE HEALTH AND SAFETY OVER EVERYTHING ELSE, ESPECIALLY MONEY. With tens of thousands of residents from southwestern Pennsylvania reaping the consequences of the region’s booming oil and gas industry, local state legislators and senators are joining the rush to make sure they don’t miss out on the financial benefits. Recently, Senators Camera Bartolotta and Elder Vogel joined forces with their colleagues State Representatives Jason Ortitay, Josh Kail, and Tim O’Neal to form a new company to address the needs of the region. Their new venture, Kiddie Koffins, is aimed squarely at the rising rates of child cancer from a cancer cluster primarily located in Washington County. Representative Kail recalls the initial brainstorming session that led to the formation of Kiddie Koffins. “We…

This photo of Congressman Scott Perry (PA-10) talking to young African-American children while WEARING A GODDAMN BULLETPROOF VEST may be the: WORST. PHOTO-OP. EVER. While it would be easy to assume the picture was photoshopped or otherwise altered, it appears on Perry’s official website. The level of political tone-deafness needed to think posting a photo of a United States Congressman standing next to two young African-American children was a good idea is almost unfathomable. The look on the kid standing at the far left pretty much sums it up: This kid is not buying whatever brand bullshit Scott Perry is selling. With the entire nation on edge in the wake of the mass shootings in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio (or as President Trump calls it, “Toledo”) fueled by…

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Let’s get one thing straight right up front. Lindsey Williams won. Nobody can dispute the results of the election for the vacant seat in Pennsylvania’s 38th Senate District. Lindsey Williams: 62,361 Votes Jeremy Shaffer: 61,568 Votes I’m no mathematician, per se, but I checked my work several times and used the calculator app on my phone to be sure. Senator-elect Lindsey Williams beat Republican Douchey McDoucherson Jeremy Shaffer by 793 votes. Done deal, right? You’d think so, but never underestimate the enduring petty dickishness of Republican legislative leaders in Harrisburg. Here’s a quick breakdown of this utterly bullshit “issue” making equally bullshit headlines.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text] What Are The Legal Issues? Article II, Section 5 of the Pennsylvania Constitution lays out the requirements to be a state senator as follows:[/vc_column_text][vc_custom_heading text=”Qualifications of members. Senators shall be at…

As has been widely touted by Camera Chatham Bartolotta, Goose in the Gallows received a “cease and desist” email from her attorney, Matthew Haverstick of the Philadelphia law firm Kleinbard LLC/ This notice comes in response to the article we published several days ago regarding questions about the potential use of taxpayer-funded resources for political purposes, specifically email addresses submitted to Bartolotta’s official website showing up on campaign mailing lists.   To be blunt, this threat by Senator Bartolotta is utter nonsense, and we are treating it as such. But instead of restating our points and in the sake of transparency, here is the response we sent to Mr. Haverstick upon receiving their initial threat. At this time we have no further comment on this issue and plan on focusing…

With Election Day little more than a week away, a politician posting an endorsement to their social media page is usually no big deal. But in the case of PA State Senator Camera Bartolotta, a Republican seeking her second four-year term in the counties immediately south of Pittsburgh, the timing and source of a particular endorsement raises serious questions regarding anti-semitism and gun-related hate crimes. Bartolotta, who raised eyebrows recently when she protected the rights of gun owners over victims of domestic abuse by casting the lone ‘NAY’ vote on a bipartisan measure to protect victims of domestic violence by securing guns from abusers, may have one-upped herself on Saturday, October 27. At approximately 3:30 PM, mere hours after news of the terrorist shootings at the Tree of Life Synagogue…

As the 2018 Election Cycle begins its wind into the homestretch, some Democratic candidates for Pennsylvania State House and Senate will wake up one day in early October to realize those months of planning, personal sacrifice, and hard work will likely not be enough to put their campaigns over the top. Most voters may not understand this, but many campaigns are decided well in advance of Election Day; not by the voters, but by “the Stakeholders” who fund most closely-contested political campaigns. Who are the Stakeholders and why do they matter? It’s not as clandestine as it sounds. In Democratic politics, the stakeholders are composed mainly of labor unions, the legal community and other professional groups that have a vested interest in what happens in the State Legislature. Because most…

Just days before nominating petitions are about to begin to circulate, the PA Supreme Court today unveiled the much-awaited map of the state’s eighteen Congressional Districts in response to the Court’s recent ruling on partisan political gerrymandering. Here is the new map: This map, which will be in effect for the Primary Election on May 15, 2018, dramatically differs from the map struck down as unconstitutional last month. The district numbers have also changed in many areas.  While the political calculus of this new map is still up for debate, Democrats will likely see improved prospects in some of the new districts, specifically the 17th (Beaver/Allegheny), 16th (Erie/Crawford/Mercer/Lawrence/Butler), 1st (Bucks), 10th (Dauphin/Cumberland/York), 4th (Montgomery), and 7th (Lehigh/Northampton). By comparison, the new 14th District (Washington/Greene/Fayette/Westmoreland) appears to be much of the…