Another day, another tragic school shooting- the 22nd this year in the United States if anyone is counting- took place at Santa Fe High School, located about twenty miles from Galveston, Texas. At least ten students are confirmed dead, and authorities later found explosive devices — including pipe bombs and pressure cookers — in and near the school.

This is, by any definition, a tragedy regardless of your personal political viewpoints or beliefs. And while the underlying issue of gun violence in schools is, and should be, part of our national political debate, there are certain rules that I didn’t think we needed to go over for moments like this. You know, like waiting until the bodies are cold to make a political statement? Especially if you plan on making your political statement in the middle of actual active shooter situation? And even more, if your intended political statements not only makes zero goddamn sense but may also escalate into further violence and loss of life?

Seems like common sense, right? Well, someone forgot to tell this fucking guy:

trump idiot santa fe
Meet the biggest doucher in America (at least for today).

This clown decided that somehow that the perfectly appropriate response to a live shooter situation in his town where teenagers were being slaughtered in unknown numbers was to strap on his pistol and his red “Make America Great Again” hat, grab his American flag and roll down to the crime scene to offer prayers and freak everyone the hell out. You have to see this to believe it:

Really, dude? I mean, fucking really?

First, let’s get the natural question that this guy himself would have asked if the individual were not a Trump supporter yet showed up in the middle of the day: Why aren’t you at work at 11:00 AM on a Friday morning?

Second, President Trump should immediately disavow this idiot’s behavior and make it clear that such actions demonstrate a total lack of judgment, common sense, and human decency. But given the pattern of the Trump Presidency, I think we all know this guy will be nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court within a week. (Sorry, Kanye- you’ve been bumped by someone even douchier than you are.)

trump maga kanye supreme court
Sorry Kanye, you’re going to have to wait just a little bit longer because this guy clearly must be nominated to the Supreme Court immediately.

Third, what good did this guy possibly think he was going to accomplish? Unidentified adult male rolling up to a high school where everyone is focused on an active shooter? Did he expect to be deputized or something? Was he worried that the victims were here illegally from Mexico and he wanted to make sure they finished the job? Honestly, give law enforcement credit for not pumping a few rounds into this clown on sight because the odds of him being there for an altruistic purpose are infinitesimal at best.

More importantly, and we won’t know this for some time (if ever), were law enforcement resources wasted on this moron that should have been focused on the active shooter situation? Did additional victims die because some jagoff decided he was the chosen one to play the role of Healer in Chief with a handgun strapped to his side? 

I could go on all day about this guy all day, but let’s take a step back for a second. 

First, he should definitely be arrested; not for being a total waste of a human being, but for actually breaking the law. His conduct absolutely constituted a violation under Title 9, Chapter 42 of the Texas Penal Code. A quick look at the statute shows he could be charged with multiple offenses set forth by the law, including but not limited to:

  • Disorderly Conduct
  • Disrupting Meeting of Procession
  • False Alarm or Report
  • Interference with Emergency Request for Assistance
  • Harassment

I’d also strongly suggest that a little investigative police work would also yield citations for Abuse of a Livestock Animal and Cockfighting, which are also listed under the same chapter (that’s not a joke- they really are). But to be honest, I’m not sure if the statutory definition of cockfighting includes this guy and his buddy covering themselves in Crisco, stripping naked but for their red Make America Great Again hats and sidearms, and wrestling on his mom’s basement floor. We may need to consult a legal expert on that.

The hats make it not gay. #MAGA

Kidding aside, even though these are summary offenses that will likely yield little more than a fine, he should still be forced to publicly appear for a court date, minus his mentally-deranged Captain America get-up. Something tells me more than a few people from the Santa Fe area will be more than willing to show up and exercise their First Amendment rights as he’s being led into court. And those people are the ones who we should be looking to if we truly want to Make America Great Again.