Congressman Guy Reschenthaler, a Republican who represents Pennsylvania’s 14th Congressional District despite a history of supporting radical racists and homophobes, was honored by President Donald J. Trump during a visit to the White House earlier this week. After a moment of silence for the entire population of Alabama for surviving Hurricane Dorian, the pair spent several hours in the Oval Office making fun of citizens of the Bahamas who are now homeless refugees. Clearly moved by the Congressman’s disdain for people with brown skin, the President then invited Reschenthaler to participate in a thumb-sniffing contest underneath the famed Resolute Desk. “Obviously, it was a tremendous honor to sniff the President’s thumb,” gushed Reschenthaler, who said that as a teenager used to lie in bed and dream about such an encounter.…
Last night, I was catching up on some work and minding my own business when a text message popped up from somebody I had never heard of, who proceeded to lead off the conversation with the words: “I’m pregnant” There aren’t too many things you can text me…
Since noted conspiratorial idiot Alex Jones from Infowars is telling everyone about the Second American Civil War the Democrats are planning for July 4, which is obviously totally true, we thought we’d start publishing some of the letters from the front. Here’s Alex Jones with his head…
I used to think I was an insecure dork for asking permission before kissing any woman I have ever kissed, going all the way back to elementary school. Turns out it may have been the smartest thing I ever did. Just to be safe, I’d like to apologize…
Sometimes redemption comes when you least expect it. When I heard the news earlier today that George Papadopulous pled guilty to federal charges of lying to the FBI, I couldn’t help derive a small dose of smug satisfaction at the turn of events. You see, I’ve known this…
Youtube user 1oneclone uploaded an amazing mash-up video depicting various members of the Trump Administration being apprehended and arrested. While something like this would always be fun, it seems somewhat fitting considering the first indictments have been issued in Robert Mueller’s probe of Russian interference (and the Trump…
Goose in the Gallows is thrilled to welcome our newest guest contributor. You may know him from church on Sundays, or when he created the Earth by fighting off the dinosaurs with his bare hands 5,000 years ago. Please welcome our newest columnist, God. So I’m chilling up…
There’s no way to even try and preface what I’m about to say, so I’m just gonna let it speak for itself. Justin Bieber may be canceling his world tour to start his own church. Normally I’d be rolling my eyes at this news, but honestly, at this…
And they say kids don’t make lists to stay organized anymore. This highly entertaining “2017 Bucket List” is making its way around the Twitter-sphere: My friends, friend found this in an Urban Outfitters dressing room… make this go viral pic.twitter.com/27u9s2jyfA — SS (@scorpiosars) July 14, 2017 I mean,…