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Cancer Cluster

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NOTE: THIS POST IS SATIRICAL IN NATURE. THE INTENT IS TO SHOW THE FAILURE OF LOCAL LEGISLATORS TO PRIORITIZE HEALTH AND SAFETY OVER EVERYTHING ELSE, ESPECIALLY MONEY. With tens of thousands of residents from southwestern Pennsylvania reaping the consequences of the region’s booming oil and gas industry, local state legislators and senators are joining the rush to make sure they don’t miss out on the financial benefits. Recently, Senators Camera Bartolotta and Elder Vogel joined forces with their colleagues State Representatives Jason Ortitay, Josh Kail, and Tim O’Neal to form a new company to address the needs of the region. Their new venture, Kiddie Koffins, is aimed squarely at the rising rates of child cancer from a cancer cluster primarily located in Washington County. Representative Kail recalls the initial brainstorming session that led to the formation of Kiddie Koffins. “We…