I used to think I was an insecure dork for asking permission before kissing any woman I have ever kissed, going all the way back to elementary school. Turns out it may have been the smartest thing I ever did. Just to be safe, I’d like to apologize to any woman who did indeed give me permission to kiss her; it couldn’t have been that great of an experience.
Having said that, I think it’s time to just wrap up this whole idea of America and call it a day because we’ve officially gone down the rabbit hole.
In 1991, comedian Al Franken appeared on a Saturday Night Live cold open playing a U.S. Senator who is creepily asking Clarence Thomas for advice about whether he had a chance of dating some random government employee. Here’s a screenshot:
Today, twenty‐six years later, Al Franken, now a U.S. Senator, has been accused of sexual assault. In a bizarre twist, Franken has asked for an Ethics Investigation of his own conduct, which could lead to a stunningly surreal example of art imitating life.
…and I quit. We have to be living in an episode of the Twilight Zone, right. Right?
Here’s the actual SNL sketch, with bonus points for Kevin Nealon as young buck named Joe Biden. At least Franken’s character was probably the least offensive Senator on the panel, so he’s got that going for him, which is nice.
It was fun while it lasted, civilization. I’m off to stockpile bottled water and Twinkies. See everyone after the apocalypse.